Drawn a line in the sand

So after what has to be a year from hell, I’ve finally drawn a line in the sand, around it and left it behind. I stopped taking all meds in July and now a couple of days before my birthday will be taking a small dose again. Which I’ve actually agreed to and planned with my new doctors. I’m undergoing new counselling all with the goal of getting back to work. I’ve really missed having a job.. Having a job and the freedom money brings.

So, In January it was Janathon – then life hit the rocks

At the end of Feb, I went straight from work to the doctors as something was wrong.Through March to April I didnt leave the house, I put on 2 1/2 stone, and went for a number of medical scans and checks. I was diagnosed as firstly Hypomania, and then Bipolar. The drugs that I was put, on were found to not be of the right amount, and these where increased last month. I’m fine, i’ve alot of apologising to do to people that I care about friends and family. I have started to rebuild life. Firstly the main┬áchange I now sleep for more than 4hrs, normally around 10hrs. No more dancing at the local bus stops, though I still dance around sainsbury’s.

After around 4 months, I went back to Slimming world, it took a couple of weeks for me to stay in group, as I wasn’t too keen on spending an hour with 50 women, but i soon got back into it. I also got massively into walking, averaging 16km every day during the weeks of June. So I weighed in at 22 stone 2 pounds at slimming world, and have won 3 slimmers of the week, 1 slimmer of the month, have won a half stone, stone and stone and a half stickers. I actually rocked on through my interim target of 20 stone 4, and currently weigh 20 stone 3, my goal in the next couple of weeks is to hit my 2 stone loss achievement.

What has Bipolar meant to me, while i’m still understanding it. The main thing I have learnt is that I have accidently upset people on my learning Path. I upset my friend Garry, someone that I deeply care about, I care about his friendship, but more than that his opinons. Hes a great asset and I am truely sorry for upset I have caused. I genuinely didnt mean to damage our friendship or to offend him. He’s one of the good guys in life. Just hope we can put it behind us.

I also realised that I needed to apologise to my family, as my twitter and facebook accounts have been a wash with the bad times (twitter) and the hypomania (facebook). My mum and dad have been utter rocks, through this but they have also been at the sharp end of the bad times, and the support after the dust has settled of the hypomania end. I couldn’t of got through this with out them, at the age i’m at and the age that they are at, they shouldn’t have to put up with any of this. They are and will always be there for me, and I will try my hardest to repay them with everything they have done for me, back.

My family includes my sister, my cousins and my grandparents, everyone has helped. My friends is a different matter, I have leanrt that people who supposedly where my good friends arent.. but i have also learnt that some of the people that have always been around, are actually fantastic. That be said Barny, Wokko, Mike, and the SW girls have been outstanding.

When I was on a hypomania mood I would buy friends, this will never happen again, which for me is one of the biggest steps.

The meds are working, it wasn’t until around August that correct dosage was put in place, and it was thanks to a lady called Carolyn who is a social worker who happens to go to SW, who realised with the first dosage I was put on I was still getting hyper. The increase, has actually given me a large step in the right direction.

I am still learning about the condition, but one thing I know the busier I am the better I am.

I’ve deleted a number of articles between Jan and now, as I didnt understand me, life or what was going on. I am stronger than I have ever been, and I am the new and improved article. With a lot of apologises to give and a lot having to prove myself again. I’m at recovery college, I have a fantastic doctor, and a new lease of life… Watch this space people..

 

 

 

 

Day 31

Work
Work
More Work dominated day 31, luckily though I was in High Brooms, Kent and to be in Canary Wharf if the afternoon. Your probably thinking why lucky well Kent is full of hills and High Brooms has loads of them.

I walked up the hill in really quick time

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Did 2.12km just going up and down that hill to from the station.

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I love Canary Wharf and walking around it so it was a great treat a took a few photos a couple of my favourites

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I need to do a tally up, of the distances etc and will add on here afterwards but I’ve got to say I loved every minute of Janathon and now have a new sport as in badminton, a new exercise friend in Jeff and a new someone special

Conversation – train

Am getting angry about the stupidity of the school kids on the train who are talking as though CoD BO/2 are related to MW, they may have the same name as in Call of Duty, but they are in fact two different games written by different people.. Should never be compared. Modern Warfare is slow paced, campers paradise. Black Ops is run full throttle at your enemy and manage to shoot them in the head whilst jumping out of a window, at the same time trying to melee their mate.
If your a camper on BO’s apart from your own team mates running in front of you on Hardcore death match to get you kicked await the torrent of abuse. You get it and you deserve it..

Campers are a no on BO go play MW. Back to the school kids who are now talking about how the campaign mission is better on MW compared to BO, yep your’ve just proven that your a loser. Who plays campaign.. It’s all about the multiplayer – on line.

Some of you might realise that the game is an 18+ and these kids shouldn’t be playing it.
Fact of life if mummy or daddy can give the spotty cretin something to keep them quiet for 5 hours a day they will.

When I was growing up it was called cubs and scouts. These only exist so that parents can have sex.

No school kids were harmed during this experience and no verbals were provided

Day 29, 30

Day 29/30 from the badminton I am really aching, done a 10 minute of running/jogging and walking both nights, I keep forgetting to put, when I wait for a bus in the morning there is a high curb and I’ve been doing 52 step ups each morning. I haven’t been timing myself as I’ve been quite relaxed about the pace.

I’ve been sick this week and so no slimming world, day 31 is going to be hard as I’m all over the shop for work.

Which is making it hard to decided about tonight, am suppose to be going roller skating in London, for my friends Kirsty’s birthday but going to have to play it by ear..

Unlike some I’ve managed to stick to dryathon so, have not had any booze in January. I was contemplating continuing this through to feb, but it’s the Super Bowl this weekend and then I have a three night work do.. Lol

Exercise – running/jogging/walking 4km, step ups 104, body popping 1 hr, singing and dancing in the office to button moon 5 mins, trying to learn how to back flip 30 seconds

Day 28 ~ shuttle cock

So 1km walk was amazingly nothing compared to the hour of badminton.. Last time I played properly was 1987, which was the year more famous for this fish out of water
Got to say I love it although aching like a bitch now, there were 8 of us so four
Games of four, the first match Game 1 for me “the fridge and freezer combo” was with Joe “gigolo” against Albert “arrow” and Paul “the chap”. After an early lead by the chap and arrow, the gigolo and combo hammered them into a loss, we beat them 11 – 9 with a deft backhand, wrist flick from the gigolo We went on to play for first to 15 whilst waiting for the other game to finish and got tonked 15-14 unfortunately i was to busy celebrating my forehand smash to hit the rebound from “the chap”.. The gigolo was not impressed..
Game 2
Mark “dazzler” and me “combo” vs Z “me blud” and Albert ” arrow”.. The dazzler combo was smashed 11-2 “me blud catching the combo in the nads with a smashed shuttlecock..
Game 3
Bev “007” and the Combo vs Diane “deadeye” and the arrow.
Deadeye and arrow hit and early 5~1 lead, 007 gained a point from combos amazing running away from the net, smashing the cock over his shoulder and hitting the far corner of the box shot.. Then lost the serve afterwards by the cock hitting combo in his swede from a powerful forehand smash by arrow.. Combo then proceeded to hit 6 points in a row the best being to clean serves no reply… Overly celebrated by jumping about… Can’t remember if we won.. I hit 6 points in a row..
Game 4
Deadeye and combo vs 007 and arrow can’t remember it.. Was still celebrating from the game before..
Shaking hands end of hour.. Fooked..

Will add up how much I’ve walked/run and stuff love badminton..

Days 25, 26 & 27

Apologies over the lack of blogging was ill yesterday and being unable to see kinda stops me writing, day 25 walked 3km, body popped a little, sung a lot especially happy birthday to ginger spice at work. I walked quickly ran a section to work, took me a large chunk of the morning to get over it. Day 26 luckily I got up at the crack of dawn and went for a 5k walk around the local park, unfortunately due to me listening to Swedish house mafia, I forgot to record it. Today day 27, I walked around the shops for over 3 hours, and brought a badminton racket ready for tomorrow and some inline skates, with all the safety gear.. Am blaming Marc C for this plus my mini midlife crisis I’m going through. Can I skate yes, when was the last time erm around 1986 and they had 4 wheels but in 2 at the front and 2 at the back.. Inline skating is supposed to be easier, went to a walk/run to night as well. Unfortunately I’ve been eating slimming world but have found that my fat is turning to muscle so my weight isn’t going down.. Which is a pain in the arse..

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Day 24 ~ bull by the horns

The day before was dull, so I thought I’d pep myself up with a bit of body pop, I’m not to the level of these guys.. Body PoP

But on youtube you can find beginner lessons ~ lessons in body pop

I also went out for a run.. and I’m lasting longer

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I’ve also been drinking coffee

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Got this from a supplier gone in 60 seconds

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Figures for today got under 11 mins for
1km run/walk
3.44km
1 hr of body popping

Day 23 boredom

Walked 2km rebuilt the environmental monitoring system at work, played with the new ip camera’s scared the bejesus out of the Irish lads. Went to SW 3lb gain wearing 4lb extra warm clothing. Found a Zumba class, found somewhere to by a badminton racket went to bed early..